harold

I sat on the ground in the bathroom, eating the school lunch that I get for free, because I'm so poor. Packaged apples. Really? Yes Packaged apples. I was thinking about her again, lately I can't even say her name...Angela Harper. There I said it. She endures a lot, and Chris is always getting in the way of her personal success.I absolutely hate that. But if there is anything I can't stand more than Chris's weight on Angie's shoulders, its Geoffry. Once my mother told me of a Japanese folktale, it went like this,"There was once a very stingy and selfish man, he lived on his own, because he wanted all of his food to himself. One day however he met a very beautiful woman, and most surprising of all is that she never ate. She was a very good worker, and he loved her company, but he began to suspect something strange when his rice started disappearing. One day he stayed home from work and watched her from outside. He then saw a very horrifying thing, his wife's hair parted in the back without her even touching it. The he saw her head open up, It was a mouth in the back of her head! She untied her hair and the bunches of hair served as tentacles to shovel the rice into the mouth." The story scared me when I was younger, but now I sort of understand it. The story was called, "futakuchi-onna", literally meaning the twomouthed-woman. It reminds me of Chris and Geoffry. Chris is a selfish person, and Geoffry is just a horrible person, two faced rather than twomouthed.

here I go...(16)

(this should be read after [14])

"Hey, Chris?", I said as nicely as I could, but I think he dislikes me for some reason.

"Hello.", he said looking at me like I was Hades or The Devil

"Hey, uh", I said in a nervous tone, "D-do you think I could maybe sit with you guys at lunch today? Um, you know, Alice, you..... Angela.", oh, why did It have to take me so long to say her name?

"Sure", he said looking me up and down and to check me for deformities or mental illness(which by this time I was sure I had some of).

I nodded and then walked away, I still don't understand what I did wrong.

here I go...(15)

I think that if I am actually in love, it must be stopping me from using my brain.

There I was facing something that I had stayed away from my entire life

and I only faced it because I saw the name Angela Harper written on it.

The Musical sign up sheet.

the hall was crazy, everyone was screaming with joy or laughing with nervousness.

It was a frenzy in which I could never have imagined.

I walked slowly into the auditorium sat down on the really uncomfortable bleachers, and listened to a bunch of stupid kids try to sing songs that they didn't know the lyrics to. "Hi, Harold! You're trying out for the musical too?", said Angela waving

I turned my head and pretended not to see her(which is funny, because lately her face has been burnt into the back of my head).

I watched"Mouse", Leo, Alice, and Chris sing and dance and then...

"I'm going to sing Imagine by John Lennon.", said Angela

Imagine there's no Heaven, it's easy if you try.

"so beautiful..."

"Dude, what are you doing?", said Leo

Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do. Nothing to kill or die for and no religion too.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry! Uh.....", I said snapping out of my trance

THEN THEY GAVE HER THE PART OF....A TREE!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!

I was mad. I can't believe that they didn't realize her talent.

I didn't end up auditioning

"hey was your name on the list honey?", said a sweet voice

"um..", I said, "yes"

"did you get to audition?", it was Mrs.Gillson

"I-I was too afraid", I stuttered

"oh sweetheart don't ever be afraid to sing your mind", she said in this familiar mother/teacher voice.

"oh no it's fine, I'm fine", I replied quickly

"did you have a song that you wanted to sing?", she asked

"well, I was thinking of this one song", I admitted

"do you want to sing it to me?", she asked while petting my shoulder

"uh..sure", I said not seeing anyone else around us

she nodded and asked me to start

"Wild World by Cat Stevens"

Lalalalalala...

Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'
Baby, I'm grievin'
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

"wow, that was really nice Harold", she said with a huge smile across her face

"t-thank you", I tried to say

"I'm gonna find you a good part very soon", she said as she walked away professionally

oh no.

here I go...(14)

1. New glasses, check!
2. New best friend...nope
3. girlfriend? HAHAHA! not in a million years!.....Angela? no.
4. did I audition for the musical, no
5. or did I?

My new glasses are yellow...During this week my mom has been getting up, and making me pancakes every morning.
I didn't mention to her that I wasn't too fond of pancakes, because shes trying her best to make me happy.
"wake up sweetie", mom whispered into my ear
"uh...mom I have an alarm clock", I said sounding kinda mean
"sorry, I just didn't want to miss seeing you before work",she said in her worried tone
BEEEEP BEEEP BEEEEP!
"see there it is, and not a moment too late", I said smartly as I switched the alarm off.
"well....", she trailed off
"do you want me to walk you to your bus stop?", she suggested with all the enthusiasm she could muster.
"no thank you", I said politely.

I think I'm going to stop this nonsense once and for all!
I'm walking into the dreaded school in which everyone has made their "big f**k ups"
Honestly I don't think I will ever be excepted if i don't just jab myself into their "clique"
Here I go...

here I go...(13)

I took quite a while for my family to get over the "incident" as mom was now calling it.

I mean seriously I've done it so many times that I wouldn't have thought that they would take so much notice. This time I actually wasn't just doing it for the attention, or thats what I keep telling myself.

Plus Una probably hates me again, and after she beat me to a pulp my glasses are now practically just a pile of glass, metal, and a little bit of wire.

The worst part of it is that my eyesight is incredibly bad. The lenses need to be made thicker than Una's skull, and I don't think that my parents have enough money to get me new ones.

So I have to travel all around school with eyesight that is probably just as good as Mabel's, or worse.

As I walked in the hallway i saw everything as a blur, the only thing I was afraid of was...

*bump*

oh no! "Oh, I'm sorry", I said apologizing to someone I couldn't see.

"Hi, Harold! Oh no, don't worry about it. Say, where have you been for the past week? I was starting to get kind of worried.", said the person in a familiar voice.

before I could make up an excuse they started talking again.

"Where are your glasses, Harold? You didn't get rid of them so you'd look 'better', did you? I always thought they were cute!"

DAMN IT!

I could feel my whole brain sinking into the middle of the earth's crust.

My whole face must have been as red as a lobster.

...it was Angela.

"Angela!", I wanted to die,"I-it's you! Oh god...."

she started talking, but I wasn't listening

"Uhh...." I stuttered, backing up.

I ran so fast that I almost tripped.

AHHHHH!!!!

here I go...(12)

I didn't wait for Alice to respond, I ran home.

Mom and Dad were still at work. Trying to get money to pay the stacks of bills that were piling up by the second.

I felt terrible for doing this to them.

Dear mother and Father,

I will always love you, and I want you to know that I'm not doing this because of you.

It doesn't matter what happened.

Think of it this way, you won't have another mouth to feed.

Well there really isn't much to tell so I...I guess I just love you guys.

-sincerely Harold your loving son

"hey I'm home!", said mom cheerily, she had come home early.

"Harry?"

she grabbed the scissors and walked into my room.

she cut the rope and sighed.

"Harold, I'm never gonna let you kill your self!"

I gasped for breath

mom sighed again, and then started bawling

"I'm so sorry", I sobbed

"I'm so, so sorry", my eyes were gushing tears

"It's okay honey", mom said as she hugged me

"I love you".

here I go...(11)

I went up to Alice, with my broken arm, and a very helpless face
My body was all screwed up and I couldn't stop shaking.
and then I said it....."Alice, please tell Angela that I love her".