harold

I sat on the ground in the bathroom, eating the school lunch that I get for free, because I'm so poor. Packaged apples. Really? Yes Packaged apples. I was thinking about her again, lately I can't even say her name...Angela Harper. There I said it. She endures a lot, and Chris is always getting in the way of her personal success.I absolutely hate that. But if there is anything I can't stand more than Chris's weight on Angie's shoulders, its Geoffry. Once my mother told me of a Japanese folktale, it went like this,"There was once a very stingy and selfish man, he lived on his own, because he wanted all of his food to himself. One day however he met a very beautiful woman, and most surprising of all is that she never ate. She was a very good worker, and he loved her company, but he began to suspect something strange when his rice started disappearing. One day he stayed home from work and watched her from outside. He then saw a very horrifying thing, his wife's hair parted in the back without her even touching it. The he saw her head open up, It was a mouth in the back of her head! She untied her hair and the bunches of hair served as tentacles to shovel the rice into the mouth." The story scared me when I was younger, but now I sort of understand it. The story was called, "futakuchi-onna", literally meaning the twomouthed-woman. It reminds me of Chris and Geoffry. Chris is a selfish person, and Geoffry is just a horrible person, two faced rather than twomouthed.

here I go...(16)

(this should be read after [14])

"Hey, Chris?", I said as nicely as I could, but I think he dislikes me for some reason.

"Hello.", he said looking at me like I was Hades or The Devil

"Hey, uh", I said in a nervous tone, "D-do you think I could maybe sit with you guys at lunch today? Um, you know, Alice, you..... Angela.", oh, why did It have to take me so long to say her name?

"Sure", he said looking me up and down and to check me for deformities or mental illness(which by this time I was sure I had some of).

I nodded and then walked away, I still don't understand what I did wrong.

here I go...(15)

I think that if I am actually in love, it must be stopping me from using my brain.

There I was facing something that I had stayed away from my entire life

and I only faced it because I saw the name Angela Harper written on it.

The Musical sign up sheet.

the hall was crazy, everyone was screaming with joy or laughing with nervousness.

It was a frenzy in which I could never have imagined.

I walked slowly into the auditorium sat down on the really uncomfortable bleachers, and listened to a bunch of stupid kids try to sing songs that they didn't know the lyrics to. "Hi, Harold! You're trying out for the musical too?", said Angela waving

I turned my head and pretended not to see her(which is funny, because lately her face has been burnt into the back of my head).

I watched"Mouse", Leo, Alice, and Chris sing and dance and then...

"I'm going to sing Imagine by John Lennon.", said Angela

Imagine there's no Heaven, it's easy if you try.

"so beautiful..."

"Dude, what are you doing?", said Leo

Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do. Nothing to kill or die for and no religion too.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry! Uh.....", I said snapping out of my trance

THEN THEY GAVE HER THE PART OF....A TREE!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!

I was mad. I can't believe that they didn't realize her talent.

I didn't end up auditioning

"hey was your name on the list honey?", said a sweet voice

"um..", I said, "yes"

"did you get to audition?", it was Mrs.Gillson

"I-I was too afraid", I stuttered

"oh sweetheart don't ever be afraid to sing your mind", she said in this familiar mother/teacher voice.

"oh no it's fine, I'm fine", I replied quickly

"did you have a song that you wanted to sing?", she asked

"well, I was thinking of this one song", I admitted

"do you want to sing it to me?", she asked while petting my shoulder

"uh..sure", I said not seeing anyone else around us

she nodded and asked me to start

"Wild World by Cat Stevens"

Lalalalalala...

Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'
Baby, I'm grievin'
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

"wow, that was really nice Harold", she said with a huge smile across her face

"t-thank you", I tried to say

"I'm gonna find you a good part very soon", she said as she walked away professionally

oh no.

here I go...(14)

1. New glasses, check!
2. New best friend...nope
3. girlfriend? HAHAHA! not in a million years!.....Angela? no.
4. did I audition for the musical, no
5. or did I?

My new glasses are yellow...During this week my mom has been getting up, and making me pancakes every morning.
I didn't mention to her that I wasn't too fond of pancakes, because shes trying her best to make me happy.
"wake up sweetie", mom whispered into my ear
"uh...mom I have an alarm clock", I said sounding kinda mean
"sorry, I just didn't want to miss seeing you before work",she said in her worried tone
BEEEEP BEEEP BEEEEP!
"see there it is, and not a moment too late", I said smartly as I switched the alarm off.
"well....", she trailed off
"do you want me to walk you to your bus stop?", she suggested with all the enthusiasm she could muster.
"no thank you", I said politely.

I think I'm going to stop this nonsense once and for all!
I'm walking into the dreaded school in which everyone has made their "big f**k ups"
Honestly I don't think I will ever be excepted if i don't just jab myself into their "clique"
Here I go...

here I go...(13)

I took quite a while for my family to get over the "incident" as mom was now calling it.

I mean seriously I've done it so many times that I wouldn't have thought that they would take so much notice. This time I actually wasn't just doing it for the attention, or thats what I keep telling myself.

Plus Una probably hates me again, and after she beat me to a pulp my glasses are now practically just a pile of glass, metal, and a little bit of wire.

The worst part of it is that my eyesight is incredibly bad. The lenses need to be made thicker than Una's skull, and I don't think that my parents have enough money to get me new ones.

So I have to travel all around school with eyesight that is probably just as good as Mabel's, or worse.

As I walked in the hallway i saw everything as a blur, the only thing I was afraid of was...

*bump*

oh no! "Oh, I'm sorry", I said apologizing to someone I couldn't see.

"Hi, Harold! Oh no, don't worry about it. Say, where have you been for the past week? I was starting to get kind of worried.", said the person in a familiar voice.

before I could make up an excuse they started talking again.

"Where are your glasses, Harold? You didn't get rid of them so you'd look 'better', did you? I always thought they were cute!"

DAMN IT!

I could feel my whole brain sinking into the middle of the earth's crust.

My whole face must have been as red as a lobster.

...it was Angela.

"Angela!", I wanted to die,"I-it's you! Oh god...."

she started talking, but I wasn't listening

"Uhh...." I stuttered, backing up.

I ran so fast that I almost tripped.

AHHHHH!!!!

here I go...(12)

I didn't wait for Alice to respond, I ran home.

Mom and Dad were still at work. Trying to get money to pay the stacks of bills that were piling up by the second.

I felt terrible for doing this to them.

Dear mother and Father,

I will always love you, and I want you to know that I'm not doing this because of you.

It doesn't matter what happened.

Think of it this way, you won't have another mouth to feed.

Well there really isn't much to tell so I...I guess I just love you guys.

-sincerely Harold your loving son

"hey I'm home!", said mom cheerily, she had come home early.

"Harry?"

she grabbed the scissors and walked into my room.

she cut the rope and sighed.

"Harold, I'm never gonna let you kill your self!"

I gasped for breath

mom sighed again, and then started bawling

"I'm so sorry", I sobbed

"I'm so, so sorry", my eyes were gushing tears

"It's okay honey", mom said as she hugged me

"I love you".

here I go...(11)

I went up to Alice, with my broken arm, and a very helpless face
My body was all screwed up and I couldn't stop shaking.
and then I said it....."Alice, please tell Angela that I love her".

here I go...(10)

I'm never going back to school.

Una caught me...she always does.
I try to escape my fate, but I will never succeed.
My arm is broken.
Una is suspended.
life sucks.

I went up to Alice the other day...
and I couldn't think straight
usually I can at least say something intelligent
but this time...i failed.

here I go...(9)

I am sick of Una.
She is always so pushy and always ends up making me do whatever she wants,
because she knows that I don't have the ability to say 'no'.
She hasn't once asked me about how I feel, NOT ONCE!
Not to mention the fact that she didn't even break up with stupid Brandon
after that fight.
maybe I should just ignore her.

"hey there!", Una said her eyes were gleaming as if she wanted something
(perfect timing)
Instead of answering her I decided to take the easy way out...I walked away.
I looked back and saw her, her face was getting that usual red color
I swear I hear her yell, but I just started running
for some reason I had the idea, that I wasn't going to make it out okay this time.

I can see you.

Mabel oh Mabel what a beautiful girl!
I just love to sing, I mostly love to sing about me, because I am a very lovely person.
Sometimes I just don't understand why I'm not popular.
I think people just judge me cause I'm blind, I mean seriously how mean!
I have the best fashion
I have the best looks
I have the very best personality
I have everything and yet everyone stays away from me as if I'm some monster or something.
I think everyone is jealous.

here i go...(8)

"oh no", I said quietly as I could
Mabel Oakfield walked pass me, and I tried not to breathe
someone was with her, a girl with dreadlocks
she was very flat chested girl.
"hey there buddy whats wrong?", the girl asked
"n-nothing", I stuttered back in reply
Then the beast spoke,"oh Harry I didn't see you there!"
well duh.
"my name is Geoffry Canning", said the girl
Geoffry? that's not a girly name....
"by the way I am very much a male", HE said after watching me in silence for a long period of time.
"oh", I said awestruck by the fact that any boy could be that attractive.
"he is my new boyfriend", laughed Mabel cutely
"nice to meet you", I said gulping down my infinite embarrassment.
"It's my pleasure", said Geoffry politely, after that he gave a wink, and they walked away.
One thing I was asking myself was: how did she know my name?

here i go...(7)

Everything has been weird lately I kept having strange dreams such as:

• When those kid from school all got turned into robots and decided to murder me.
• I crawled into a gigantic egg shell and got trapped in it.
• I wanted a pair of socks, but it just so happened that socks never existed and I was the only person who knew about them.

So after that I decided that I would buy a bunch of socks, stop eating eggs, and stay away from those kids.

my turn!(3)

"hi again uuuunnnaaa", said Mabel as she crept from behind me
"oh my god!", I screamed, "you scared me"
"sorry", she said, her blank eyes twinkling
"i-its okay", I actually felt a little sorry for her...

"hey your brother, Harold is really cute", she said smiling brightly
"he isn't my brother!", I said angrily, without noticing the weirdness of what she said(she is blind and can't tell if someone is cute)
"sorry", she said again
"no I'm sorry I shouldn't get so mad at you", I apologized
"you shouldn't get so mad at anyone", she said with a bit of sour tone(which I wasn't expecting from her)
"just because I'm blind everyone acts like I'm special or something", she whispered sadly
"I didn't mean it like that at all!", I said, but she was already out of sight
maybe she can teleport.

my turn!(2)

was that too harsh?

do you think I hurt his feelings?

I heard laughing,"hi!", said a cheery voice from behind me

"hello", I said as i shut my locker

It was that blind girl, Mabel.

Her pony tail bounced as she jumped up and down

"how did you know I was here?", I asked

"oh, I could smell your overuse of perfume", she said grinning happily

"uh....thanks?.....I have to uh...go now", I said as I walked away franticly smelling myself.

what a weird girl, I'm mean seriously, she was wearing a hot pink dress that had yellow polka dots on it, and her shoes and headband matched perfectly.

To make it worse I saw her having a conversation with the "leader" of the Freaks....Angela.

my turn!

"I so sorry honey", I told my little friend Harold

He had been involved with a pretty nasty fight the day before.

"I'm fine Una", he assured me, but then added,"did you dump Brandon?"

I was going to, but he apologized, so no.

"no", I replied.

here i go...(6)

I could have sworn that Chris and Angela were looking directly at me when we were outside yesterday. I wonder if they actually want to get to know me, not that there is much to know.
"Hey, Harold have you fallen in love with her?", asked Una after I told her all about my new stalkers.
"who, Chris?", I Laughed," no way!"
"no silly, Angie, or whatever her name is", Una replied
"eww no!", I said blushing furiously.
Una walked away laughing, Oh my god.....what if I am in love?

here i go...(5)

I was stunned I couldn't believe that some person had actually tried to talk to me...and I rejected them.
This all makes me wonder if I'm cautious, or maybe I really just don't want anyone to like me.
It was Angela though, and she has something in her eyes that just make me want to choke my self with severe happiness, which is very rare for me.
Maybe I could just try excepting the fact that I'm probably going to die before I ever get excepted into a group of people who actually like me.
One thing that I'm really confused about, why did she seem so excited to talk to me?

here i go...(4)

I knew i didn't have a great personality like other kids in the school, but I really just wanted to have a couple friends like anyone else.

there were these kids, Angela, uh Chris? oh I don't remember their names, but I always wondered if they were ever unhappy.

They were always so happy sometimes it hurt to look at them.

At lunch I sometimes sat by Una, but I really didn't like it when everyone looked at me as if I was a stray animal that Una just decided to pick up.

When I wasn't sitting with my 'friends' I parked myself in a really nice place: the bathroom.

"Hey man wat'cha doin' in here?", laughed Brandon when he saw me comfortably eating my lunch in the corner of the bathroom.

"eating", I replied smartly,"obviously".

He shook his head a walked out of my own stinky, wet, personal lunch room.

Chris yeah thats his name, walked in next, but he didn't see me.

why doesn't he just go into the girls bathroom? I mean no one would notice and plus it's probably cleaner.

here i go...(3)

Dear Journal, don't get ripped up by Una ever again, do I make myself clear!?!?

"this whole High School transition is really hurting you isn't it Harold?, Una asked, we finally got to attend the same school again.

"not really", I said trying to sound tough

"what up lil' man", yelled Brandon Pike as he playfully punched me in the stomach. I thought he would have never tried to do that again, because one time I puked.

I always thought Brandon's name was a little ironic, because in most instances that I've witnessed the person named Brandon was usually a little guy with round glasses who's nose was always running, but Brandon was sporty and girls loved him.

"hello, earth to Harold!", Una always yelled at me when I didn't answer someone right away.

"oh, uh n-not much really", I slowly replied to Brandon after a couple seconds

Brandon made a strange face and said, "wow dude you are one tripped out space cadet"

"go easy on him babe hes just like a little kitten, really shy", Una explained to the big doofus with the military hair cut.

She had been dating Brandon for a couple weeks and already referred to him 'babe'

I must admit I was horrified when Brandon had her cut off her Rapunzel locks, and I don't really like him anymore, because of that.

I did have other friends besides Una, or at least some good acquaintances

the problem was that you were either a geek, nerd, dork etc., or you were deeply in 'love' and could pay attention to no one, but your lover.

I guess I was sort of an 'other', because not even the geek, nerd, dork etc. liked me.

Una got to know me the hard way, which involved lots of forced apologies.

I was a loner.

here i go...(2)

"w-well i also said that you were pretty", I managed to stammer out those last few words before

SMACK!POW!!BAMMMM!!

I was knocked to the floor and was not in the least bit conscious. Blood was pouring like waterfalls out of my nostrils, and I might have died if it weren't for the after school math club. The math club leader ,Colin I think was his name, called an ambulance. Then I was soon on my merry way to ER land.

It's actually a shame that I went to the hospital, because my parent ended up paying a bazillion dollars on a broken nose and a couple stitches. Honestly I'm glad it happened, because after that me and Una had a nice(not to mention long distance, because she got expelled)friendship-like thing going on. I think she really felt terrible, even though she had broken many people's noses before(I'm guessing that she had a crush on me).